Swed(f)ish.

tadpole-in-a-tuxedo:

DEAR SWEET GOD

I WAS TRYING TO EDIT THIS GIF:

AND THIS MONSTROSITY HAPPENED

GOD ON HIGH HEAR MY PRAYER

(via joshpeck)

pokebae:

when u realize u sent an important text to the wrong person

image

(via perks-of-being-chinese)

Why do I have butterflies this needs to stop

unclefather:

we take for granted all the times our nose isn’t stuffy

(via seeaann)

fujitoras:

i read this left-to-right by accident
"am i reading? what the fuck?"

nebranska:

engage-with-zorp:

sideb00b:

My best friend (who works at State Farm) just called me, so excited, saying she met a cute boy at work, whose name is Jake. She likes Jake from State Farm.

She sounds hideous.

Well she’s a guy so

(via fractalonyx)

horror movie opening scene
  • white girl: i dont like this abandoned insane asylum, zack.
  • white boy: come on, amanda, 10 years ago tonight, the famous blood skull killer committed his last murder right here and then vanished.
  • white girl: you're just trying to scare me.
  • white boy: lmao
  • they continue walking for a few seconds
  • *white couple hears noise*
  • white girl: babe what that??
  • white boy: i'll go investigate
  • *leaves her alone*
  • *choking noises*
  • white girl: zack!!!
  • white boy: ha ha just kidding!
  • white girl: asshole!
  • white boy: im just playin babe
  • white girl: that wasnt funny but ur still cute
  • *playful kiss*
  • *things turn sexy*
  • *hear noise*
  • white boy: i'll go investigate
  • *he leaves and then there's a silence for a long time*
  • *maybe a thud*
  • white girl: zack! this isnt funny anymore zack!
  • *she walks and he dead*
  • white girl: ahhh!!
  • *killer shows up with sickle or quirky weapon that distinguishes him from other horror movie villains*
  • white girl: ahhh!!!
  • *white girl runs*
  • *dead end*
  • *hides*
  • *thinks she free n safe*
  • *guy catches her*
  • *cuts her*
  • *she dead*
  • opening title slashes across screen: BLOOD SLICE IN 3-D
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